All the days were the same, tinted with tentative happiness.
Until today when my comfortable, sheltered routine crashed and I had to say goodbye. And I realised I had taken my time for granted. I had let my days flow by, frame by frame like in a film roll. All the while knowing explicitly that each day was a stitch in the tapestry of life and that ultimately, each would affect the overall picture. You see, life does not just happen now, it also happens in retrospect. It is not a mere succession of days, no. What you do with your days becomes what you do with your months becomes what you do with your years becomes what you do with your life.
But I let it all go by me, like a powerpoint presentation I wasn’t remotely interested in. I chewed on a pen, doodled a little, wrote some terrible poetry and daydreamed, almost waiting for it to end. But then the presentation came to an end and it was like I had suddenly woken up, anxiety again master of my mind, and I realised I had missed out on something too important.
If I know one thing, it is that you should not take Life and Time for granted. You can waste either if you want, but waste it knowing the value of what you’re wasting. And well, not all ‘waste’ is waste. Not all days need to matter in the way the world defines it. You don’t need to save the world everyday. You don’t need to save yourself everyday. Some days are just for existing. For being warm and cozy and to hug the people you love a lot. Some days are for movie marathons that last 9 hours. The days that don’t matter are important.
But don’t take Time for granted. Don’t think you have all of life to do this thing. You never know when the world is going to turn over on its axis. You never know when you’ll have to say goodbye—No, you never know which goodbyes you’ll never get to say.
All anyone can do is try very hard to not have regrets. The rest is not in our hands. Beyond that, there is nothing that we can do. And though there should be defeat in this, I find only solace. If I had been able to do more, maybe I wouldn’t have wanted to. Maybe I wouldn’t have been able to. The weight and power of the universe are burdens too heavy for anyone to bear.
There is only this one thing I must do: I must try very hard.
The hardest I can. And if it doesn’t work out, it’s not my fault. All anyone can do is make the days count. All anyone can do is try. And why should we not? We only have the one chance at trying. And if we don’t try for fear of failure, we lose by default.
Note: This is Day 15 (!!!) of my NaNoWriMo Writing Challenge. You can find the previous entry here. I’ve also written on the theme of Time before, so you can also check that out 🙂 Also, is the illustration above art of ‘The Little Prince’? Yes, yes it is.