A little while back, I considered (tried) going on a writing hiatus. My anxious mind, always eager to veer into the extremes, had me toy with the idea of leaving this blog altogether. What if, it wondered, you took a hiatus and just…never came back? What if, in that moment in time, something drastic happened and life changed so much you couldn’t get back to writing, blogging?
It wasn’t the first time I asked myself this question. Not the first time I tried quitting, more or less.
And it occurred to me, in between all that advice that “You should write for yourself.” and “We should all admit we write for others too.” that I’d found my one reason why I write. I won’t deny that I like having people read what I write and relate to it, or just think that something I made was just a little beautiful. But do I write for myself ? Maybe sometimes.
As critical as I am of my own writing, there are some pieces I am very fond of. Because reading them, I am not only taken back to a moment in time, but also to the moment I put pen to paper and extracted a memory combined with a feeling and an atmosphere. I am taken back to the time I was able to describe what, to me, was indescribable, overpowering, nameless.
Writing on this blog has been like curating my own little world. There is my writing, but also things I find beautiful, things I love. Sometimes it’s a painting, a song. Sometimes a quote. It all adds up to this little stash of things I love. Or have loved at one point in time. And sometimes I have cool people tell me they really like the same things I do, which, I have to admit really does make me smile.
And now I’m writing this here because…because this feels important (?). Like one of the things you’re meant to write down just in case you forget.
It always feels weird to post something so self-centred and not have a straightforward answer as to why I’m posting it. I wasn’t even going to add an artwork to this, but it really was just too beautiful not to add. Either way, I’m guessing I’ll just have to take a leap here.
Listening to :