Nature, Not So Beautiful.

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Orange and Lavender? Not a colour combination I would have chosen myself, but Nature has beauty standards all its own. I am sometimes convinced that Nature could even make sandals worn with socks look beautiful.

I mean, when has Nature disappointed? When have you been in a field brimming with flowers and thought: “There’s too much going on here. Too many colours.”. When have you seen a running stream and said: “The stream is too narrow. The water pressure too low and the pebbles on either side could be more polished.”. When has Nature been too much or not enough?

But then, when we are ourselves part of this Nature we so glorify, why are we not this accepting? Why are our noses too big, our lips too thin and our faces not symmetrical enough? We do not compare every river to the Nile nor every mountain to Mt Everest, then why are we never enough on our own, and must always compare to those who the world says are the prettiest?

And who decided that Orange and Lavender could not go together? Who decided that people could not all look different and be beautiful?

To Those Who Are Never Good Enough

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Art by: Kate Powell Art

I hear the words roll out of your mouth as easily as a ‘hello’, but I know that behind the lightness with which they flow, there is this weight that dips into your heart every time you admit it.

That you’re not enough. Not good enough.

I watch you say the words, resigned and hurt, trying to get over yourself. And the light dims in your eyes as these words spin a dark web that hem you in, as the strings that make up this trap dig into your skin.

And I want to tell you that you don’t have to feel that way. That you don’t constantly have to feel as though you’re a damaged good, a flower with missing petals that you need to apologise for. I want to tell you about how your every breath inspires in me a peace I only feel when I look at the stars, or when I am somewhere far away where nobody knows me.

But I can’t tell you what to feel or not. You have been led here, to this place where “Not Good Enough” is normal and I can’t take this away by just wishing. By just telling you “You don’t have to feel like this.” Because at the end of the day, you do.

So I will love you loudly even in the silence I am accustomed to. I will hold your hand out in public. I will be proud of having you by my side, flaws, scars and all. I will make it so that “Not Good Enough” is no longer normal.

I will watch as these words start to taste unfamiliar on your tongue. I will watch the smile stretch back lazily into shape on your face again. I will watch happiness tickle your skin and send your soul tingling. I will look at the light returning to your face and will close my eyes when your voice starts to carry the tune of your favourite song after so long.

I can’t wait to see you again. Flawed, scarred, imperfect, different, but Oh so you.

Figuring Out Who You Are

 

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Art by Gunseli Sepici

You toss and turn the night away,
as if hoping that the movement will
cause all that’s wrong inside,
to finally fall back into place.

You’re restless, breathless and hopeless.
And I want to say: “You don’t have to be.”
Because it is when disassembling the pieces of a Lego house
that you have enough parts to create a bigger one.

Everything doesn’t have to be in place all the time,
else it means that things have never moved,
that they have never changed.
But you, you want to evolve.
You want to grow.
You want to be a better you.

So embrace the messiness.
Make out with the idea that you’re a work-in-progress.
We all are.
It’s just that some of us are building foundations,
and others are redoing the paint.
But even then, you never know when
you’ll want to knock the whole thing down
and start all over again.